PRODUCER’S COMMENTARY
Culture teaches us that love and hate are opposites. Upon closer examination, I began to reconsider this long-held belief. I think fear is love's true nemesis. Hate is usually the mask it's wearing. Both fear and love are provoked by the same choice, to care about something or someone else more than we care about ourselves. In the case of love, the object of our care is often other human beings. In the case of fear, it is typically something more abstract. Think about a time in your life when you felt loved--did you notice a new capacity to love yourself with less judgment or renewed faith in your power to create a life that excites you? Do you trust in your strength, offer yourself more patience with your process, and discover a deeper appreciation of your being?
Even with all of the current wisdom available to help us feel more courageous and confident--I've never read anything about love being a tool or solution for self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or insecurity. When I experience these emotions or thoughts, I'm almost always responding to how a pair of external eyes perceive me. It's rare to be in touch with MY opinion of myself. I can't help but wonder if this is a result of the unconscious conditioning we receive from childhood. The goal isn't belonging and community--but sameness and compliance. We must determine our value from external voices and influences. And our willingness to be shaped by the opinions of others is rewarded with acceptance and success. Pushing back against this collective thinking is met with swift, and often painful ramifications, designed to instill fear--fear of rejection, isolation, or humiliation. I suspect that I don't pursue my dreams and ambitions with more vigor because of the impact of that social conditioning. And while I am continually working on reprogramming myself, that conditioning is relentless. The times when I feel free of it are when I am feeling wholly and deeply loved.
In my experience, feeling loved invites us to see ourselves truly; there is something transformative about being seen, deeply seen. The healing that comes from recognizing one's complexity and vulnerability makes way for creativity and clarity—observing people who seem to be loved and cherished in a kind of tangible way seem to move through life with a certain fearlessness. I think that feeling of "internal" safety within one's self is a consequence of feeling treasured. It's as if loving experiences offer a reflection of our most nourishing and supportive selves, and no matter what we choose to do and how it may turn out, we will be loved for ourselves and not for our accomplishments or failures.
I'm convinced that to have the bravery to accomplish something great, to live the life we create in our daydreams, and become the most incredible version of ourselves--we need transformative, loving experiences and relationships. Feeling loved, not just romantically but in all the ways love makes itself known--somehow makes us feel more courageous. Having a deep desire to be loved is guidance for my life—a compass that orients me toward the thing I often need most, the courage to chase my dreams and live as myself without apology. I want to be treasured for myself, to be seen, understood, and loved for who I am. I want to be respected for my gifts, passions, and strengths. To live authentically and with integrity, I need to be witnessed, understood, and given space to be real.
VoiceNotes #009